1. Today I found out I have a stock portfolio

    My company contributes to my 401k as well as a portfolio of stocks for me. Which is awesome, I’m never leaving here

    Adult pro tip: always look at your benefits, every single little thing.

     
  2. I love postictal patients

    1. Me: Do you have any allergies?
    2. Pt: I have two red bones.
    3. Me: How old are you?
    4. Pt: 75...or 65? 25. Somewhere in there.
    5. (Correct answer was 57)
     
  3. hobolunchbox:

    Daenerys burns a little. 

    (via killsandthrills)

     
  4. officialunitedstates:

    FACT OF THE DAY:  mars is called the red planet because during the cold war it sided with the communists

    (via mechanicusdeus)

     
  5. libertymaniacs:

I have to send one of these to my man Edward Snowden. Somehow I think He’ll dig it.

    libertymaniacs:

    I have to send one of these to my man Edward Snowden. Somehow I think He’ll dig it.

    (via antigovernmentextremist)

     
  6. defranco:

    A woman doesn’t OWE you anything, ever. (X)

     
  7. Nurse at satellite clinic said she would send us chocolates cause I moved a mountain to get a patient squeezed in and she followed through with cupcakes #vscocam

    Nurse at satellite clinic said she would send us chocolates cause I moved a mountain to get a patient squeezed in and she followed through with cupcakes #vscocam

     
  8. faptop:

    WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE

    (Source: mountainmoonvolcano, via callmecastle)

     
  9. mishapenmagic:

letmebeyourtlc:

zandalarian:

niknak79:

Baby going through tunnel

probably thought his entire existence ended

nerdy moment: babies at that age don’t have object permanence. if the object cannot be seen, it does not exist. image how freaked the fuck out you would be if suddenly everything went black - effectively ceasing to exist. the baby’s entire world vanished then came back.
so yeah. he probably did think his entire existence ended.

It’s not nerdy. It’s called child development.

    mishapenmagic:

    letmebeyourtlc:

    zandalarian:

    niknak79:

    Baby going through tunnel

    probably thought his entire existence ended

    nerdy moment: babies at that age don’t have object permanence. if the object cannot be seen, it does not exist. image how freaked the fuck out you would be if suddenly everything went black - effectively ceasing to exist. the baby’s entire world vanished then came back.

    so yeah. he probably did think his entire existence ended.

    It’s not nerdy. It’s called child development.

    (via callmecastle)

     
  10. winter-glitter-red:

this is one of the best thing I have seen in my life.

    winter-glitter-red:

    this is one of the best thing I have seen in my life.

    (Source: realignanxiety, via mintsmintsmints)

     
  11. whiskey-weather:

confessionsofahornywife:

Nope. Not at all.

Can confirm.

    whiskey-weather:

    confessionsofahornywife:

    Nope. Not at all.

    Can confirm.

    (Source: unscrupulousbastard, via mintsmintsmints)

     
  12. larstheyeti:

happy Monday.
[theawkwardyeti.com]
     
  13. nsfwjynx:

    matildathedragonfly:

    knownorwegian:

    In Norwegian, you don’t refer to your romantic partner as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. You say “kjæreste”, which is gender neutral and literally translates to “the dearest”.

    and in swedish you refer to your boyfriend/girlfriend by saying ”älskling” which translates into ”my beloved one” 

    In America we call them “eagle” because we want them to know freedom will always take precedence over our love for them

    (via oneasterisk32)

     
  14. (Source: kongoupak, via oneasterisk32)

     
  15. (Source: enimru, via mintsmintsmints)