I Blame Ned
May 2012
April 2012
- Giving a guy a blowjob: mouth -> penis -> pleasure
- Eating out a girl: Okay take the blue wire and overlap it with the yellow wire making sure it doesn't cross the red one. After that take all three of the wires and tie them all in a knot using only your left foot.
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- If you believe this then you give shitty head.
Never start building a computer at 11 pm at night when you have only gotten 9 total hours of sleep the last two days
It doesn’t work
My parents have my grandmothers grave locked on their GPS.
I don’t even
I think if I heard that Gotye song one more time I’m going to set myself on fire and roll down the Grand Canyon into a pit of snakes and scorpions.
then you’d be somebody that we used to know
I'm going to name my daughter Stacy, so then I'll be getting it on with Stacy's mom
Are we over One Direction yet or do I have to burn all my electronics
One plus of the FuelBand: I don't have an excuse of being late cause it forces me to have a watch
And I just reached my first goal of 3000 Fuel points
Yay my computer hardware arrived today!
Now I can procrastinate on building the damn thing the night before Diablo III comes out! HUZZAH!
I like the Nike+ FuelBand
I like it a lot.
The price not so much
OBI WAN KENOBI 2012
“Our only Hope”
When I play Call of Duty I just yell "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" or "DELETE"
One day there will be a Doctor Who video game where you can be Daleks vs Cybermen and everyone will have a great time and there will be cake
Today was my first time at a Trader Joes and for 30 min with a very random very old Italian gentleman who sought to teach me how to properly cook for my wife every night, how to keep a good marriage for 60+ years and telling me the importance of making love as much as possible and after all that went out of the way showing me what the best red wines are the you should have for ever occasion
It was epic
I was pulled over today on my way to work
I was being invited to a wedding and he thought it was easier just to let me know that way.
I have asshole friends lol
Show me someone, anyone in the entire world, who says they are not a bigot, sexist, or racist or has never been a singular one of those things and I’ll show you a liar.
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
I don't say I hate people a lot but my God do I absolutely hate Rose Tyler
I don’t understand how the Doctor managed to keep her as his companion for like 3 seasons I just don’t get it I’d throw her ass out of the TARDIS a long time ago
So I was reading a book called "The Patriot Witch" and got called into the HR office today with my supervisor
I was told that someone complained about the book cover and having “witch” on it and if I wanted to continue reading it I needed to put it in my drawer of face down when I leave my desk because we can’t “offend” anyone.
I called it bullshit (ok I was more eloquent than that but got my point across), this is MY book and I’m not talking about it at all to any one. I’m reading it when I’m not working or on calls (or I’m on hold for extended periods of time). Who ever has an issue can clearly disregard looking so closely at my desk where they can take the time to look at the book cover.
Needless to say they just repeated to put it away or face down.
Well now I’m really going to not listen to them and just leave it out as normal and fuck whoever has an issue get the fuck over it. Believe me if they try to go any further than that shit they pulled today then I’m going right to the VP in my office about this cause its complete bullshit.
Called into HR because since someone complained about the book I wa s reading
“the patriot witch”, this is going to be fun…
"Car stuck in tree for 4 days"
Must be a show day for the local news..
Re-watching all the Doctor Who episodes
Lets see how many episodes I can get into before I have to jump to the season with out Rose in it
5 days without shaving and I have a beard
I am a hairy mother fucker
Why do people like Rose Tyler on Doctor Who
She just annoys me and I can’t stand her at all
I always beat women...
To the door to hold it open for them
“What we didn’t hear about was a how an African-American women who in the course of protecting herself from an abusive husband who beat her while she was pregnant, shot a gun that she legally owns into the air. No one was hurt, but she is now looking at 25 years. Yes indeed, you read that right, facing 25 years.. Her name is Marissa Alexander, she lives in Florida, is a mother of 3 and everyone should know her name and her case.The person who prosecuted her case is Angela Corey, the prosecutor in the George Zimmerman case.”
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There’s a petition you can sign here (US citizens only). Marissa’s case will be on Anderson Cooper 360, 8pm & 10pm tomorrow (Monday, April 23).
(via iamthecrime)
